Hey everyone.
Odd topic maybe and I am not used to reaching out into the community for anything; especially this. I feel like my wife (23F) and I (27M) have a disconnect. She has known I have a bondage fetish for about 6 years, back when we met, and she has always been ok with it. I am not hardcore BDSM or anything but I am well rooted into it.
I want to respect the walls of our marriage, protect the love we share, but I feel left empty at times when she isn’t into being tied up or when she makes it almost a problem for her.
I came to find out that she has two friends, (22F) who I would say are attractive, that are interested in bondage as well. Due to my belief in monogamy and the live I have for my wife I could never act on this knowledge in any way, even just talking to them about it.
I guess I just want my wife to be into this too, and to no longer feel like this part of me is stranded.
Any advice, or personal anecdotes that could help?
I would ask that the community not suggest any kind of open relationship or personal pass.
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JUST A SMALL ANNOUNCEMENT TO REMIND EVERYONE (GUESTS AND REGISTERED USERS ALIKE) THAT THIS FORUM IS BUILT AROUND USER PARTICIPATION AND PUBLIC INTERACTIONS. IF YOU SEE A THREAD YOU LIKE, PARTICIPATE! IF YOU ENJOYED READING A STORY, POST A COMMENT TO LET THE AUTHOR KNOW! TAKING A FEW EXTRA SECONDS TO LET AN AUTHOR KNOW YOU ENJOYED HIS OR HER WORK IS THE BEST WAY TO ENSURE THAT MORE SIMILAR STORIES ARE POSTED. KEEPING THE COMMUNITY ALIVE IS A GROUP EFFORT. LET'S ALL MAKE AN EFFORT TO PARTICIPATE.
Is it ok to feel a disconnect?
That's a tough one, especially since I share a similar situation. My wife knows 96% of the kinks I'm into and supports them but doesn't care to participate in them herself. Her sex drive in general is not there; like I feel we have totally different views on it. Like she only wants to do anything at all if it brings the possibility of her being pregnant. Which irks me because I just want to have fun while we can, before we get old and ugly and it ceases to be fun 
. I'm like you and outside of this hurdle I feel like our relationship is borderline perfect, but considering how big bondage and non-vanilla sex is for my enjoyment I consider it a pretty big hurdle. I also feel like a lot of my crossdressing fetish is partly due to this. I want to see a hot girl tied up and squirming but since my wife won't entertain me and I don't want to cheat I find myself becoming said "hot girl" when she's not home 
. I'm like you and outside of this hurdle I feel like our relationship is borderline perfect, but considering how big bondage and non-vanilla sex is for my enjoyment I consider it a pretty big hurdle. I also feel like a lot of my crossdressing fetish is partly due to this. I want to see a hot girl tied up and squirming but since my wife won't entertain me and I don't want to cheat I find myself becoming said "hot girl" when she's not home 
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Flyingvulture
- Centennial Club
- Posts: 143
- Joined: 5 years ago
- Location: Mexico
Well, first of all, you have to open up to her about your desires and how much you *NEED* them. Not want, not wish, but actually NEED them.
And I say need, because (IMHO) it has to be that important for your mind or body for you to bring it to the dialogue table.
My own example is that, I'm in an relationship for 9 years and when I hit 35 I was very clear to her, I NEED to have bondage in my life, it has been one of my goals since I was a teenager. And to make story short, she agreed to allow me to have such sessions outside our relationship with a few rules (no lip-kissing, condom always on, not bringing anyone home). Conversely, she also has fantasies that I can't fulfill and she has the same rules and allowances I have.
It isn't perfect but it's a great start, I'm lucky to have her as partner, instead of having another one who would just say no to everything.
And I say need, because (IMHO) it has to be that important for your mind or body for you to bring it to the dialogue table.
My own example is that, I'm in an relationship for 9 years and when I hit 35 I was very clear to her, I NEED to have bondage in my life, it has been one of my goals since I was a teenager. And to make story short, she agreed to allow me to have such sessions outside our relationship with a few rules (no lip-kissing, condom always on, not bringing anyone home). Conversely, she also has fantasies that I can't fulfill and she has the same rules and allowances I have.
It isn't perfect but it's a great start, I'm lucky to have her as partner, instead of having another one who would just say no to everything.
TW: @VultureLeader
Tumblr: Wrapspirit
Tumblr: Wrapspirit
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cellofello
- Forum Contributer
- Posts: 68
- Joined: 6 years ago
- Location: United States/Virginia
70-year-old here. 68-year-old partner who even when younger would have been called ugly by many. It still hasn't ceased to be fun.illest wrote: 4 days ago Which irks me because I just want to have fun while we can, before we get old and ugly and it ceases to be fun
My apologiescellofello wrote: 4 days ago70-year-old here. 68-year-old partner who even when younger would have been called ugly by many. It still hasn't ceased to be fun.illest wrote: 4 days ago Which irks me because I just want to have fun while we can, before we get old and ugly and it ceases to be fun
. I'm 42 myself and I feel myself becoming really self conscious, especially working in an environment where most of my coworkers are in their 20s and I feel my hair thinning out. Which ironically may be another perk of crossdressing. I feel like a wig and makeup lets me turn back the hands of time. My only problem is I'm a straight crossdresser so while it's fun to post pics and attract guys I strangely want to attract dominant women as well