Stories of Tie Up Games

dudalb's stories
20 - The Great St Patricks Day Abduction
Story index at the bottom

By dudalb

Thu Mar 11 19:02:27 PST 1999

All right, so the abduction did not take place until a couple of days after March the 17th. Big deal. It was a prank played on me by Melissa on St.Patrick's Day that triggered her abduction. But I am really getting ahead of myself.

My own background is German-Irish. My dad's German Ancestors had totally assimiliated. But my Mom was Irish-American, and her family maintained strong cultural links to the ould sod. My mom competed in Irish step dancing as a teenager in the late fifites and early sixties, a good 25 years or more before anyone heard of "Riverdance" or Michael Flatley. I grew up on the Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem. And when I was 12 my Mom took me to see the Chieftains in a small San Francisco theater years before they could fill huge Concert halls. She also made sure her kids had a general knowledge of Irish history. In my case a lot of it stuck: as I write this I'm listening to the Chieftains latest CD "Tears of Stone".

At the time this story took place I was 17 and in my Junior Year of High school. Each year as St. Patrick's day came nearer the more "Irish" I became---not unusual. I think I never sank to the depths of the Once a Year Irish on St Patrick's Day and other Wannabes; but I must have been annoying. At our high school at the time I am writing about we actually had a couple of kids from Ireland who made no secret they thought I was making a fool of myself . One girl from Limerick named Kate but no bones about it But this yeat Melissa entered the picture.

If you have read my Halloween tale, you have met Mel. She was from England; her father had been given a three-year assignment in California. Melissa was about five seven, had brown hair, and had a general resemblance to Geena Davis. She was very funny, very intelligent, charming, and could drive you crazy at times with her love of pranks and jokes. She almost instantly was in the running for Class Comedian. I got to know her well soon after she arrived in Early December. She was having real trouble in American History. She had only had a few weeks of it in the UK as part of her world History course and a lot of her ideas of US history were derived from those wonderful sources of Accurate information, TV and the Movies. I was a star pupil in History and was asked by my teacher to tutor Melissa. Mel spent a lot of time over the Christmas Holidays at my house getting up to speed in US History. Melissa, when she wanted to be, was a very good student, and she charmed the hell out of my parents and siblings. Mel picked up quickly this was a pretty Irish oriented household and she very casually let my Mom know that Brit as she was, her grandfather had emigrated from Dublin to Manchester, and her Mom's maiden name was as Irish as you can get. Mel need not have worried, Mom was a moderate on the whole mess in Ulster, despised the Orange Order and IRA equally as a bunch of homicidal maniacs, and whatever she though of British Policies in Ireland (not much), she did not let it effect her attitude toward people from Britain but still is shows what a smooth operator Mel could be. Actually, in retrospect, Mel's Irish ancestry makes what followed all the more bizarre and amusing.

About the early part of February Mel and I begun verbal sparring on the topics of Ireland and England. It was on the whole pretty good-natured, with no more venom then Gina and I would exchange barbs on our opposing football teams, (SF 49ers vs. The Chicago Bears). (Gina was an Italian American girl from Chicago who was one of closest friends in a kind of Harry Met Sally relationship). But as March the 17th grew closer It became more barbed on my part. I told jokes like "Why did the Sun never set on the British Empire? God wouldn't trust a Limey in the Dark" in Melissa's hearing. She tried to ignore it for the most part, but I could tell she was irritated. At first I expected some prank in revenge but when nothing happened I grew complacent. I did not know that when Mel thought of a good idea, she could wait until the best possible moment to carry it out.

A few days before St. Paddy's day, however, A prank war broke out between Gina and Mel. This was totally good natured unlike the Gina- Steffi run ins a couple of years back; Mel and Gina liked each other. (For those of you wondering, Steffi and I had a friendly mutually agreed upon breakup in November. By June we were back together).

It reached its climax one evening when Gina came over (she just lived two houses down) and said "Know what that Brit Melissa did today?"

"No, what?"

"Duct taped me to a post after Soccer practice!"

I wormed the details out of Gina. Both Gina and Mel were on a girls soccer team, and during some fooling around afterward practice Mel repaid a joke Gina pulled on her a couple of days before (switching bicycle locks on Mel's bike) by duct taping Gina to a post. It was pretty simple and much less stringent then what Gina was used to in our tie up games. Melissa (with the help of a couple of other girls) wound the tape around Gina's elbows and upper body binding her to the post; repeated this around her wrists and lower body (Gina's wrist were at her side); wound some tape around her ankles securing them to the post, and as a final touch a strip of tape across Gina's mouth as a gag. Melissa let Gina twist and mmphh for fifteen minutes before letting her go. Gina was not really angry, she had been tied and gagged much more tightly and much longer in our tie up games, and Mel had been careful not to hurt Gina when pulling off the tape. (For all her love of practical jokes Mel did not have a cruel bone in her body.) But still, Gina did not let anyone friend or foe getting over on her. And revenge on Mel was only a matter of time. After getting over regrets that I had not been there to see it I filed away this information. I had been scheming to get Mel involved in a tie up games for some time; this indicated she might be an easy mark.

And I knew that unlike many pranksters Mel was a very good sport and prided herself on being able to take it as well as dish it out. But before I could plot very much St. Patrick's day was upon us.

On Saint Patrick's day everything went fine until lunch. I ran into Mel in the morning and we exchanged a few good natured England Vs. Ireland comments. I had Physical Education right before lunch. Because my book lockers were out of my way going to the cafeteria I never went to my locker until after lunch. Mel knew this. After lunch - Mel ate with a couple of her friends - I went over to my locker to get my books for the next class. I turned the corner and stopped dead in my tracks.
There, in front of the whole school, God, St. Patrick, and everybody was , taped to my locker, a British Flag, the much disliked Union Jack. Above it was taped a sign saying "Rule Britainnia"

And under it "God Save the Queen!" I then said one of George Carlin's seven words you can never say on Television - at least on broadcast TV.

"Who the *&%$# did this?" Just snickers in response. Quoting a then popular Arnold Schwarznegger film I shouted "Someone's Gonna Pay!" I was already rounding up suspects in my mind and it did not take long to put Mel at the top of the list. It was her style; she was a good artist (she had paid back my tutorial by teaching me enough basic drawing to get a decent grade in art), it was just so, well, Mel!

I noticed that Kate was laughing louder then anybody. So I turned on the sellout. "Mel did this, didn't she?" (Kate and Mel were great friends.) Kate just laughed. The bell rang so after tearing down the Union Jack and throwing it in the trashcan I went to class.

In physics when on my friends came up and said "Boy, Melissa sure zinged you today!" I had confirmation of who had done the dirty deed. He had seen her waiting, poster in hand, around the corner, until I left for PE. Then she taped it to my locker. She had timed it so , if I followed my usual pattern, It would stay up there for 90 minutes until I discovered it. In her practical jokes Mel was flawless in planning and execution.

Gina had the same physics period I did, and we had a chance, during the lab portion, to talk. It was brief - Gina took physics very seriously, she wanted to be - and became - an engineer. But she looked up from her graph paper, snickered when I came over and said "Mel the Brit 2, Dud the German Irish and Gina the Chicago Italian zip. Want to see about getting up on the scoreboard?" We agreed to meet after school and plot.

The plotting took place at an Irish festival my Mom was involved in. Gina and I plotted and arrived on a plan over (What else?) Corned Beef and Cabbage. We arrived on a simple plan. We would stage a fake revenge to hide the real revenge. The fake revenge would be a retaliatory strike on Melissa's locker, the real revenge would be for Mel to spend a hour bound and gagged - for Gina payment in kind, for me a chance to lecture her on English Misrule in Ireland without fear of interruption. And of course I wanted to see Mel tied up and gagged anyway.

The next day our diversionary strike went in. Gina got up early and painted a placard with the White, Orange, and Green of the Irish republic on it with the slogans ERIN GO BRAUGH! And UP THE REPUBLIC! (The battle cry of the 1919-1921 Irish war of Independence). Gina and I posted it up on Melissa's locker and fled.

When we saw Mel that afternoon her comment was a sardonic "Very Funny, Chaps!" (We made sure plenty of people saw us do it) to which I gave reply in one of the great jobs of BS ing I have done in my life.

I acted like I was pleased with myself for having gotten even. Gina joined in. Then, to show we had no hard feelings, I asked Mel over on Saturday to watch a few movies. (Mel's parents did not have a VCR; they were not quite the universal item they are now.). Mel agreed to come over.

I knew that my parents were taking my kid brother out to a circus that afternoon (I had no interest in going) and that my sister Chris would be amused by whatever happened. The trap was set.

PART II

Saturday was nice and quiet. Gina and I made the preparations for Melissa's abduction. We decided on our standard chair-tie for her. She would be held in our Basement/Recreation Room. My Dad had recently converted our basement into a Recreation Room complete with a space heater and an air conditioner. So it was not like we were going to hold Mel in a deep, damp dungeon. As soon as my parents and my brother left we took a kitchen chair down, and placed the ropes and gagging materials on the floor beside it. A pool table occupied the middle of the room. My dad had always wanted one and finally bought a used one in good condition. I think that was one of the reasons he converted the garage.

I placed a coil of rope in my pocket, and Gina put a bandanna in hers. All was ready.

Mel arrived, wearing a sweater and pants, and we put on the first feature, "Raiders of the Lost Ark" a favorite of ours. In the scene where Indy's girlfriend Marion is bound and gagged, Gina and I exchanged glances. When the film was over, the ambush was sprung with a quickness that Michael Collins, the great Irish Guerrilla leader during the Black and Tan War would have approved of.

Mel had gone to the bathroom. When she came back Gina suddenly grabbed her and pulled her hands behind her. I pulled out the piece of rope in my pocket and begun to tie her wrists together. Mel was totally surprised. She finally said "What are you doing" and Gina said, "Tying you up, what do you think? Did you really think I wouldn't get even for the duct taping? Just call it a Sicilian thing". (One of Gina's grandparents was Sicilian, Gina loved to use this to enhance her tough Chicago Street Image}.

I said. "Really think putting a poster up on your locker was enough payback for another case of a Brit insulting the Irish?"

Mel did not fight back hard, just struggled a little bit. . For one thing despite our words she knew us well enough to know we would do nothing to really hurt her. She also had picked up on the idea that being able to take it as well as dish it out was a basic rule of life in just about any American High School. And I think she was kind of curious to find out exactly what we had in mind. And she was still a little dazed by the speed with which we had grabbed her.

I finished tying her hands behind her. I did not do a really good job: they would have to retied behind the chair later so I just tied it secure enough so she could not slip out quickly. Gina then pulled out the bandana and blindfolded her with it.

"Can't have a kidnapping without a blindfold!" Gina said.

"I'm surprised you aren't gagging me", Mel said.

"Don't worry," I said. "That's on the agenda. Now just take it easy, and we might decide to let you go - eventually".

"Give me a break!" Mel said.

We turned her around a few times to try to disorient her and then led her down into the basement.

"I cant believe I am letting myself be kidnapped by a Female Mafia Hood, and an junior IRA member!" Mel said.

"Keep up comments like those and Melissa will soon be down there with Luca Brasi, sleeping with the fishes!" Gina said. Lucky for Mel Gina did not mind Mafia jokes, she was expert at throwing them back on the perpetrator. "The Godfather" was another one of the movies both Gina and I loved to quote.

We reached the bottom of the stairs. Gina and I both were techies/stagehands in our High School Drama department, and so we had arranged the chair to which Mel would be tied for dramatic effect. It was placed away from the pool table, and we had put the ropes and scarves in a neat pile right beside it. When Mel faced the chair we took off her blindfold and let her see it. We then hustled her next to the chair and sat her down. I untied her hands, pulled them behind the chair, and retied them much more thoroughly then before. Gina took another piece of rope and tied her ankles together. Melissa watched with apparent calm; she had decided the infamous British Stiff Upper Lip would be the appropriate response. Then Gina took a long length of clothesline, and wound it once around Mel's body and the chair just below her bustline. Gina gently but firmly cinched it. Then taking one of the two long pieces of the line left over she looped around Mel's elbow and one of the back posts of the chair, and cinched it. She then brought the cord over and repeated the process with Mel's other elbow. She then wound the remaining cord around Mel's body and the chair, chinching each time a complete circle was made. After the final circle, Gina gave is a final cinch and tied a very secure knot. Melissa was securely tied to the chair. Mel had been silent, but now she said "You chaps have done a first class job of trussing me".

"And" I said trying to sound evil, "we are going to do a equally good job of Gagging you1"

With that I took a long scarf and tied a double knot in the middle. Gina then asked Mel

"Mel, are you feeling any pain from the ropes? We can adjust them if you are". This was standard in our games to ask if the ropes were too tight before gagging someone.. We just wanted to have fun (at least for the people doing the tying!), and we did not want to really hurt or cause pain to anyone. Mel shook her head and, accepting her fate, opened her mouth. I put the knot in the scarf in Mel's mouth, and pulled the ends of the scarf behind her head. I cinched it. There still a couple of feet left over so I pulled then around so they covered the knot in Mel's mouth, cinched them in the back of her head, and put in the final knot. Mel was now securely cleave gagged.

"Can you breathe OK?" I asked. Mel nodded.

Having made sure Mel was in no danger or pain I said. "Well, We won't be hearing your charming English accent for an hour or so!"(Mel's accent was almost exactly that of Daphne on Frasier).

At this Mel mmmphed loudly and gave me glowered at Gina and me.

Gina then said, "We've got a hour to kill. Want to shoot some pool?"

"Sounds good, but first a little music!"

I had decided not to lecture Mel on English Rule in Ireland. But I decided a concert of Irish music might be nice, with a very heavy emphasis on Irish rebel songs, a genre which told of the many revolts against British rule in Ireland, and most of which had very uncomplimentary things to say about the British Government.
I put on a tape I had made a few weeks before for my own enjoyment, not knowing it would be put a use dear to every Irish-or Irish American heart. annoying the English. It was a dubbed and re-recorded with a mike selection of rebel songs from my Mom's huge collection of Clancy Brothers, Tommy Makem, and Wolfe Tone tapes.

I put it on and as Gina racked up the balls the tape played "The Foggy Dew" a song about the Easter 1916 rebellion We were hoping to get a rise out of Mel and at the second verse it happened:

Right proudly high in Dublin town, they hung out a flag of war....
And from the plains of Royal mead strong men came hurrying through,
But Britannia's Huns, with their long-range guns, sailed in through the Foggy Dew!
(I recommend highly the version sang by Sinead O'Connor on the Chieftains Long Black Veil album, great stuff)

At "Britannia's Huns" Melissa gave a long angry mmmph ."Don't worry, there's more!" I said. As I took my first shot. Gina and I were both good players, and were evenly matched. We played pool while after the angry mmmphs Mel tried to maintain a stiff upper lip.

A little later "O'Donnell Abu" came on. This one is about Prince Red Hugh O Donnell who led a guerilla war against Queen Elizabeth's army in the late 1500's. (Yes, that is the one that Disney made the not very good film about).

The Final verse goes:

Onward, bold Donnell then, fight the old fight again!
Follow the standard of Dauntless Red Hugh,
Let the Proud Saxon Feel Erin's Avenging Steel!
Strike for your country now, O Donnell Abu!

At "Proud Saxon" Mel lost her composer and gave another Angry mmmph. It was Gina the Italian American, not Dud the German Irish American who twisted the knife in poor Mel: "Melissa I thought you would like this music! Your're one fourth Irish, after all!" A really loud mmmphing protest from Mel. Later Mel said she bean feeling like Alex in "A Clockwork Orange" listening to Beethoven after being "rehabilitated". (Stanley Kubrick will be missed badly.)

Toward the end of Mel's period of imprisonment the nastiest song of all came on. This one is about the Black and Tan war. If you have seen the fine recent Film with Liam Neeson "Michael Collins" you have a pretty good idea of what went on. (The Black and Tans were a special police force set up by the English government to crush the Irish rebellion and only ended up turning even more People against Britain.)

1n 1916 the forces of the Crown,
To put down the White Orange and Green, Bombarded Dublin Town.
But come 1921, Britannia's Huns hand to earn their pay,
For the Black and Tans, Like lightening ran, From the Rifles of the IRA!

At this came the loudest mmmph of all.

A few minutes later the Hour was up, Gina and I had finished the game of Pool, so we untied and ungagged Mel.

"We're even, No Hard feelings, Melissa?"

Mel Thought for a moment and said: "No Hard Feelings, but sometime, somehow, chaps, I will get even".

This was not unexpected. We realized that a practical joke/prank war lay ahead. But we also knew there would be no malice or ill feeling involved, Just a kind of very unusual and physical kidding between friends.

"Just try it" Gina said. "Let's have a beer". (Mom did not mind us having one beer, any more would mean severe punishment.).

"Not you American Slop" Mel said, so I took a chance and grabbed three bottles of my Mom's beloved Guinness instead of the usual Bud.

So ended the St Patrick's Day abduction. Mel did indeed get her revenge but that's another tale.

Happy St. Patrick's day to all - even the Brits!

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dudalb's stories

• 01 - Tying up Sean's Mom (mm/f)
• 02 - Taken Hostage by Kids (f+m+/MFF)
• 03 - Playing Detectives (ff/F)
• 04 - Tying Up Mom (f/m, f+m/Fm)
• 05 - Prisoners of War (mf/mf)
• 06 - The Great 4th of July Robbery (m+f+/FM)
• 07 - Prisoners of War, a follow-up (fm/f)
• 08 - The Houdini Challenge (f/m, m/f)
• 09 - Tying Up Aunt Judith (mf/F)
• 10 - Aunt Judith Strikes Back! (F/mf)
• 11 - Soaking Private Gina (f/f)
• 12 - Gina's Revenge (f/fm)
• 13 - The Gina-Steffi Wars: Armistice (f/f)
• 14 - The Halloween from Hell Part I : Hotel California (fm+/mff)
• 15 - The Halloween from Hell Part 2 : Escape from the Vampire Queen (mff/f)
• 16 - The Halloween from Hell Part 3 : Steffi the Vampire Slayer (mff/f)
• 17 - Erin's Thanksgiving Trussing (mmf/f)
• 18 - Cousin Cindy's Revenge (f/ffm, fm/f)
• 19 - My Mom's Second Tieup (mm/FF)
• 20 - The Great St Patricks Day Abduction (mf/f)
• 21 - Melissa Gets Back Own (f/ffm)
• 22 - Steffi Joins the Tied Moms Club (mmff/F)
• 23 - My Mom's Third Escape Challenge (m/F)
• 24 - Shula Babysits (fmm/fF)
• 25 - Melissa's Sticky Predicament (f/f)
• 26 - The Momnapping of Trudy (fmm/F)
• 27 - Momsnapping (ff/FF)
• 28 - College Charity Abduction (mmff/F)
• 29 - How to Burn a Witch (M+/F)

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Index of all stories in the "Archive for Everyone" section